Bearing this in mind, if you do want to see a (semi) famous face, the best place has to be the Tube, tucked away at the bottom of Park Street.

Formerly a private-members bar, and still owned by Massive Attacks Daddy G, the venue retains a modicum of the exclusivity it once had. Putting celebs to the back of your mind, you might even have a pretty decent night out here. The odd L-shaped layout means that getting a pervy rub up against Roni Size should be no problem, and the small but well-formed dance floor holds enough to have a decent boogy with.

If you're expecting queues of A-listers then you might be bitterly disappointed, but the Tube still has that touch of glitz that celeb heads so desperately crave.